Do What Inspires You

As an elementary school’s teacher librarian and as the keeper of the books, I hold great power to aspire. Although I must be honest; it is NOTreallyME doing all of these things, it is me connecting children with the right books at the right time to empower, sooth, console, teach, and so much more. Every day I aspire… to become better and to give back to a wonderful community, to embed myself in children’s lives, to be the hug they get in the morning, to listen to their stories that must be heard, to hold their hand as they timidly step outside of their comfort zone, and to be someone who shows them it’s okay to not succeed the first time, but not okay to try again. My message to the children is to remember the power of ‘not yet’ because there will always be another chance.

Sometimes it is really just the little things that keep us on the treadmill of education stepping through the many cyclical changes, behavioral challenges with students, professional obligations, social expectations, and oh, the ever-evolving standards.&nbsp;

If someone would have told me 20 years ago I would become an educator, my response would have been that they had me confused me with someone who had dreamed of this from an early age.&nbsp;Really? 

Some miss us when vacations come around. They miss the warmth, understanding, structure, compassion, and balanced meals- breakfast and lunch. For many impoverished children, coming to school is the best thing they do on a regular basis.

Meeting so many people was socially rewarding for me, but who knew working nights could be so tiring? And then there were my kids… they wanted their mother to be someone who kept things in order, cooked them nice meals, kept their things clean, volunteered at school, contributed to bake sales, coached their teams, allowed friends over, read them stories before bed, and fixed all of their problems. My children deserved all of these things, as all children do.

At nearly 40, I realized I wanted to make a difference in the world outside of my own home, but did not know what this could look like.&nbsp;I settled into a course through the local community college, and realized that becoming a learner was both rewarding and enjoyable.

I am currently in year 5 of this position, and continue to learn daily.&nbsp;I will always remember a moment during morning meeting at my first teaching position where a student asked me a question. I responded that I did not know, but would find out. This 11-year-old boy responded “So, you really don’t know everything.” I was quick to respond that no one knew everything, and that was why resource books could be seen on my shelves. I continued- “The day you think you know everything is the day when you have cheated yourself out of learning something new, because you should learn something new every day.” While I remember this incident, I do not remember his response to this. I hope it was a profound moment in his life and that as an adult, he remembers that learning is lifelong.

So what do I aspire to be? I aspire to be someone who truly makes a difference.&nbsp;I aspire to help children learn about the world without leaving their own community. I aspire to have my students become part of a family who is loving and encourages them to be who they want to be. I aspire to offer them mirrors into their own lives or windows into others. I aspire to provide a world of fantasy where unimaginable things seem real… like flying or transfiguring, or to have them understand it’s okay to cry after the death of a loved one or pet.&nbsp;I aspire to motivate, entertain, build imagination, improve creativity, and more… To aspire to be someone truly wonderful, I want to offer them a book to help improve their thinking, writing, and speaking skills… offer a&nbsp;book to help improve focus and concentration… a book that offers knowledge through the interaction of its pages. Books and words have so much power.

My first teaching position, by choice, was in a grade 3-5 alternative setting for children with severe emotional behavioral disorders who were not successful in a regular classroom setting for 3 years.&nbsp;I then moved into a public school 4th grade classroom. 

It took me 3 years to realize that did not truly satisfy the creative side of me, and was then asked to help berth a program for children with emotional and behavioral problems who were not successful in the classroom. Who knew someone could become so immersed in something that was really not their own?

After 3 years of wearing my heart on my sleeve, I needed to take care of myself. Emotional separation was not my strength. I remember something my first college professor said to me “Never take credit for their successes, and that way you can never take credit for the failures.” I have remembered these words from Professor Stellor.

On year 10 I began the change spending halftime in the special education position and get this… FLIP SIDE… DRUM ROLL… spending the other half enriching the students who were successful and needed some challenge. Life is peculiar like that sometimes.

When you were a little girl or boy, I bet you knew exactly what you wanted to be when you grew up. You wanted to be a princess or a superhero; a teacher or an engineer; a scientist or a video game designer; a model or a professional ball player; a dancer or a professional rodeo cowboy; a ballerina or an astronaut; a nurse or a firefighter; a children’s book writer or a musician; a singer or a pilot; you wanted to get married and stay home and have babies; you wanted to be just like mommy or daddy; or... you aspired to become president.

After being asked by my principal and her substitute (who had filled in after my principal’s daughter had been badly injured in a school bus accident) what my preference would be when considering 2 halftime positions, I quickly seized the opportunity to become the librarian and enrichment teacher. 

“You do realize you will have to go back to school?” I was asked. “Oh yes.” I responded. “I have not really stopped going to school.” The library media sequence through the University of Vermont offered so much collegiality, empowerment, practical learning, networking, and empowerment.

Clearly, they had me confused with someone who wanted to spend the day… five in a row... being with someone else’s kids? Who knew I could enjoy them so much? While I may not have been one of the children who knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up, it never crossed my mind to choose a career where I would have so much power.

Following graduation from high school I attended Vermont College of Cosmetology and eventually owned a successful salon. Then I became a disc jockey, and who knew a job could be so much fun?&nbsp;

Fast forward to my life as an adult. As an educator, it is my role to shape children’s lives. Educators must inspire them, encourage them, empower them, parent them, nurture them, love them. We listen to their stories and become part of their lives, as they often become part of ours. For some, we find it difficult to separate ourselves, regarding them as our own.&nbsp;

On a daily basis, we significantly impact the lives of many. For some, we may be the first or the only hug they get or give each morning… Monday through Friday. 

This is a very rough draft, but it was fun learning to use Book Creator, and I think that was actually the purpose of writing this chapter. Writers need to write roughly, to get their ideas down. Writers also need time to reflect, to make changes, to modify, to improve. These things I have not been allowed. I hope that my words, while they may be jumbled, make sense and perhaps inspire you to do what you aspire to be.

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