Book Creator

Crucial Conversations

by Stefanie Carter


Crucial Conversations: How to Navigate Emotional, High-Stakes, Opinionated Discussions
Adapted from Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High By Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, & Switzler
Stefanie Carter
Crucial Conversation
A discussion between two people when (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong
Crucial conversations occur on a daily basis at home, work, and everywhere in between. It's vital to be able to recognize when you are in one before it's too late and the situation becomes uncomfortable. It's important to keep the dialogue going so you can reach an understanding instead of more confusion and hurt feelings.
The free flow of meaning between two or more people
Steps to Dialogue
Use these steps when you are entering into a dialogue over potentially crucial topics.
Start with Heart
Learn to Look
Make it Safe
Master My Stories
Explore Others' Paths
Move to Action
Start with Heart
Take a deep look inside yourself and focus on what you really want. Remember, only you can control yourself!
When you feel you are entering into a crucial conversation, ask yourself the following questions:
- What do I want for myself?
- What do I want for others?
- What do I want for the relationship?
Look for the AND: What don't you want and what do you want? Think of healthy options and begin your dialogue.
Learn to Look
Look for the signs that show when the conversation is turning south and is no longer a safe discussion. When you or the other person starts to get upset/defensive (violence) or quiet/withdrawn (silent), you are in a crucial conversation. Learn your style under stress and be aware of when this happening to you.

Remember: only you can control you!