Dog vs Cat

”Bob, how did you let them see the weapon?!” said Tim to a cat. “It was in my pocket.” “Well now they ruined our plans to win.” said Tim. ”Run!”

The cats began to run through the forest, and back to the den.

“Uh, everybody listen...we think we might be lost.” said Tim. All the cats were nervous. “Don’t worry everybody,” replied a cat. “I was planning for this.” The cat held up a map. “Give me that,” snarled Tim. He stared at the map for a while.

The cats began to walk north back to the den.

Now, if you never heard of Cat-Dog I’m gonna tell you about him. So from how I heard it, Dog and his friend, Cat, were walking down the road when some weird goo spilled on them. Then they mixed together, and became one.

”Cat-Dog.” There was a silence in the room. “Why are you in our den?!” “Well, I was just seeing what both sides were planning for this war,” replied Cat-Dog. “Well, you need to get out of here now!” yelled the chief. “Ok, whatever you say, chief,” mumbled Cat-Dog.

“Why are they running away?” asked Jim. “They are NOT allowed to have weapons!” said Cat-Dog. “Well, I guess this means the battle will end in a tie,” Jim frowned. “No!” said Cat-Dog. “We will find them in the woods and end this.”

“Where could they be?” asked Buddy. Just after he says this, they see the cats running through the forest. “Get them!” yells Cat-Dog. They chase the cats all the way to the road near the bay. “We surrender!” screams a voice coming from the cats. It is Tim. “Why?” asks Jim. “Please just stop chasing us, all we want is peace and you just keep following us everywhere we go. We are trying to get back home to our den. LEAVE US ALONE!” Tim gasps for air. “Okay” says Jim.

It was another day in the cat den and Tim the cat leader was reading the Cat News Network (CNN). He was reading one of his favorite parts, the sports section. Once he was done reading, he saw something unusual. On the front headline of Cats and Dogs it read, “Dogs looking to start war with cats.” Tim is shocked.

Tim stands at the front of the cafeteria. “Most of you in here heard the news about the dogs and us.” All the cats in the room screeched ,”YES!!!” “Raise your paw if you want to start a war and win against the dogs.” Every paw in the room went up. Well, almost everyone’s paw. The only paw that was still glued to the table was the Cat-Dog.

The workers lay in the last brick to the arena. “And there it is folks, the arena is done and tomorrow the dog and cats will battle.” announces the mayor. 

The cats and dogs are gathered to begin the fight. ”Everybody get ready for a intense fight,” Cat-Dog announces. “ Jim!” calls Buddy. “Yes?” “Look at all the cats, they have weapons!” said Buddy. “The people never told us that!’’ recalled Jim. Cat-Dog was yelling,” Cats, put those down now!” “I will confiscate those weapons!” “Run!” screamed Tim.

Navy zig-zag pattern

Every day there are debates around the world about which is better, a dog or a cat. Today the cats and the dogs will battle to finally settle who is better.

“I’m tired of this,” said Jim, the leader of dogs. “We need every human to know that dogs are better than cats.” “What can I do to help sir?” says Buddy, the helper of Jim. “We need a way to settle this,” replied Jim. “We have all the evidence that proves we’re better than them.” “I know sir, but most humans think cats are better than dogs.” “Exactly, but we are obviously more fun, cute, and hilarious.” “We need to finish this.”

“Are you insane?!” screamed Buddy. “YOU ARE FIRED!” screamed back Jim. “Well we’re not just gonna kill the cats.” “Ok then, we’ll just pet them,” says Jim sarcastically. 

“Buddy get in here now!” exclaimed Jim. “What is it boss?” asked Buddy. “Read this.” Buddy reads the newspaper in Jim’s hand. Here is the update on dogs v.s cats. People from all across the city are planning a battle arena to settle this. Reports say cats requested battle. “It is on,” said Buddy.

Jim never ended up firing Buddy, but they still are mad at each other.

The sun is setting on the bay, and all dogs and cats are walking home, exhausted. “Well, it is a tie; dogs and cats are both good and no other animal is bett… Tim can’t finish his sentence. A goldfish the size of a truck leaps out from the ocean and swallows everyone. “Yum,” he says, then swims back down under.

Published 2022 All copies of this book are prohibited unless given permission from the author Andrew Siegel. Any copies may result in a $1,000,000 fine.

“Funny and humorous fantasy,” Tudor Ion

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