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I AM NOT AFRAIDLoading...
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By Olivia Drinen 
I used to be so afraid
trapped by my own fear
Bound, soficating,
Held to the point where I could not move, I could not breathe,
I was held in a sarcophagus I constructed myself
I was not in control of my life anymore
Fear drowned out my own thoughts with it’s roar
Constantly answering to a master I created for myself
The monster I made my mind into
I regretted that I even let this into my head
I want to escape so badly
But my stiff, frozen limbs will not let me move out of this place
I was fearful to escape from my fear
How ironic
Tied by invisible ropes that I could not untie
Cut off by brick walls that I build
Confined by the small comfort zone I told myself to stay in
Pinned down with a knife at my throat telling me that if I move from this state, you will never be a person good enough to do anything
But… isn’t it the opposite?
If I stay in this cocoon, will anyone even notice me?
Will I ever be able to do anything worth mentioning, anything that makes a difference, anything that I can learn that from?
The fear multiplied as the revolutionary thoughts filled my head
But I decided that I’ve had enough!
I was done with being controlled
I began to cut my strings
One by one, I untie those knots, break down these walls, and erase the boundaries that I drew for myself
I smacked away the knife that rested so close to my face
I wrestle with those monsters that want so badly to be the one who tells me what to do
And I prevailed
Once and awhile, that sneaking doubt creeps back into my mind
Apparently, they forgot that I am strong enough to say no now
I am brave enough to fight it
I am not deceived by their petty tricks anymore
I am not afraid
trapped by my own fear
Bound, soficating,
Held to the point where I could not move, I could not breathe,
I was held in a sarcophagus I constructed myself
I was not in control of my life anymore
Fear drowned out my own thoughts with it’s roar
Constantly answering to a master I created for myself
The monster I made my mind into
I regretted that I even let this into my head
I want to escape so badly
But my stiff, frozen limbs will not let me move out of this place
I was fearful to escape from my fear
How ironic
Tied by invisible ropes that I could not untie
Cut off by brick walls that I build
Confined by the small comfort zone I told myself to stay in
Pinned down with a knife at my throat telling me that if I move from this state, you will never be a person good enough to do anything
But… isn’t it the opposite?
If I stay in this cocoon, will anyone even notice me?
Will I ever be able to do anything worth mentioning, anything that makes a difference, anything that I can learn that from?
The fear multiplied as the revolutionary thoughts filled my head
But I decided that I’ve had enough!
I was done with being controlled
I began to cut my strings
One by one, I untie those knots, break down these walls, and erase the boundaries that I drew for myself
I smacked away the knife that rested so close to my face
I wrestle with those monsters that want so badly to be the one who tells me what to do
And I prevailed
Once and awhile, that sneaking doubt creeps back into my mind
Apparently, they forgot that I am strong enough to say no now
I am brave enough to fight it
I am not deceived by their petty tricks anymore
I am not afraid
