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AUSTIN PREPARATORY SCHOOL'SLoading...
TOLLE LEGELoading...
SPRING 2020 EDITIONLoading...
ARTWORK BY JULLIE CHUNGLoading...
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FEATURING POETRY, PROSE, AND ARTWORKLoading...
FROM THE CREATIVE MINDS OF Loading...
AUSTIN PREP STUDENTS
FOREWORD
Dear Readers,
Welcome, and thank you for reading our spring 2020 edition of Tolle Lege. Austin Prep is an institution that is bursting at the seams with creativity, and I am humbled to have been a part of a project that has provided space for some of Austin’s most creative minds to flourish and be known. I’d like to thank my fellow Austin Authors board members and our talented contributors for making this magazine a possibility. Above all, I’d like to thank Mrs. Putney for her leadership and unwavering dedication to this project.
I need not tell you that this year’s edition of Tolle Lege came to fruition under unique and exceedingly difficult circumstances brought about by Covid-19, because these circumstances have morphed into normalcy for each of us. However, it is my firm belief that creativity is crucial in the face of hardship, and that trying times often breed beautiful things. I hope that each of you is able to find joy in the works you are about to read, and that each of you can find comfort in the things that fulfill you.
Welcome, and thank you for reading our spring 2020 edition of Tolle Lege. Austin Prep is an institution that is bursting at the seams with creativity, and I am humbled to have been a part of a project that has provided space for some of Austin’s most creative minds to flourish and be known. I’d like to thank my fellow Austin Authors board members and our talented contributors for making this magazine a possibility. Above all, I’d like to thank Mrs. Putney for her leadership and unwavering dedication to this project.
I need not tell you that this year’s edition of Tolle Lege came to fruition under unique and exceedingly difficult circumstances brought about by Covid-19, because these circumstances have morphed into normalcy for each of us. However, it is my firm belief that creativity is crucial in the face of hardship, and that trying times often breed beautiful things. I hope that each of you is able to find joy in the works you are about to read, and that each of you can find comfort in the things that fulfill you.
Sincerely,
Emma Kilbride
Editor of Tolle Lege
i
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Emma Kilbride
ii
GRIEF
BY ANNA FERRANTI
Shock.
It hasn’t sunk in
The arrow has pierced your chest,
But you don’t yet feel it.
You are empty, numb, hollow.
Denial
You refuse to accept it.
You build up your walls,
Trying to hide from
The harsh truth of reality.
Pain
Suddenly, you feel everything.
The hurt comes crashing down on you
Powerful, like a tsunami.
You can’t hide or escape.
And so, you drown in the waves of pain.
Anger
You lash out.
Why is this happening to you?
You’re on fire,
And you burn all those who are close to you.
Bargaining
You blame yourself.
“What if, what if?”
And try to claw a piece back of the control
That you’ve lost completely.
It hasn’t sunk in
The arrow has pierced your chest,
But you don’t yet feel it.
You are empty, numb, hollow.
Denial
You refuse to accept it.
You build up your walls,
Trying to hide from
The harsh truth of reality.
Pain
Suddenly, you feel everything.
The hurt comes crashing down on you
Powerful, like a tsunami.
You can’t hide or escape.
And so, you drown in the waves of pain.
Anger
You lash out.
Why is this happening to you?
You’re on fire,
And you burn all those who are close to you.
Bargaining
You blame yourself.
“What if, what if?”
And try to claw a piece back of the control
That you’ve lost completely.
Depression
You are empty.
You have nothing left,
No hope, no light.
You’re climbing a mountain
That doesn’t have a peak.
Acceptance
For the first time in a long time,
A ray of sunlight pierces through the clouds.
You revel in the warmth,
Letting it fill your soul
And embrace the feeling of peace
That starts to blossom in your heart.
You’re not fully healed yet,
But you have hope.
And maybe, just for now,
That’s enough.
You are empty.
You have nothing left,
No hope, no light.
You’re climbing a mountain
That doesn’t have a peak.
Acceptance
For the first time in a long time,
A ray of sunlight pierces through the clouds.
You revel in the warmth,
Letting it fill your soul
And embrace the feeling of peace
That starts to blossom in your heart.
You’re not fully healed yet,
But you have hope.
And maybe, just for now,
That’s enough.
1
Shock.
It hasn’t sunk in
The arrow has pierced your chest,
But you don’t yet feel it.
You are empty, numb, hollow.
Denial
You refuse to accept it.
You build up your walls,
Trying to hide from
The harsh truth of reality.
Pain
Suddenly, you feel everything.
The hurt comes crashing down on you
Powerful, like a tsunami.
You can’t hide or escape.
And so, you drown in the waves of pain.
Anger
You lash out.
Why is this happening to you?
You’re on fire,
And you burn all those who are close to you.
Bargaining
You blame yourself.
“What if, what if?”
And try to claw a piece back of the control
That you’ve lost completely.
It hasn’t sunk in
The arrow has pierced your chest,
But you don’t yet feel it.
You are empty, numb, hollow.
Denial
You refuse to accept it.
You build up your walls,
Trying to hide from
The harsh truth of reality.
Pain
Suddenly, you feel everything.
The hurt comes crashing down on you
Powerful, like a tsunami.
You can’t hide or escape.
And so, you drown in the waves of pain.
Anger
You lash out.
Why is this happening to you?
You’re on fire,
And you burn all those who are close to you.
Bargaining
You blame yourself.
“What if, what if?”
And try to claw a piece back of the control
That you’ve lost completely.
Depression
You are empty.
You have nothing left,
No hope, no light.
You’re climbing a mountain
That doesn’t have a peak.
Acceptance
For the first time in a long time,
A ray of sunlight pierces through the clouds.
You revel in the warmth,
Letting it fill your soul
And embrace the feeling of peace
That starts to blossom in your heart.
You’re not fully healed yet,
But you have hope.
And maybe, just for now,
That’s enough.
You are empty.
You have nothing left,
No hope, no light.
You’re climbing a mountain
That doesn’t have a peak.
Acceptance
For the first time in a long time,
A ray of sunlight pierces through the clouds.
You revel in the warmth,
Letting it fill your soul
And embrace the feeling of peace
That starts to blossom in your heart.
You’re not fully healed yet,
But you have hope.
And maybe, just for now,
That’s enough.
2
AN EXCERPT FROM
MONOCHROME
BY ABIGAIL BROWN
Amber had always wondered how lab rats were able to navigate mazes so easily. Scampering around corners on a mission to find the cheese that awaited them at the finish line. Now she felt as if she were the lab rat, stuck in a giant maze of her own whilst trying to make her way to the finish line. Except there was no finish line here— she had simply entered the maze to investigate.
The resistance base was a lot bigger than she ever could ever have imagined. Seemingly bigger than her school, in its winding hallways and endless rooms.
She had found her way back to the residential wing, not staying put she’d already visited it multiple times already. Her feet echoed along the bare cement floor, and she ran her hand idly along one of the gray cinder block walls. The monotonous hum of white fluorescent lighting emanated from above her, filling the silence of the otherwise empty hallway. It was ironic that there wasn’t really that much color here, Amber thought to herself with a smile.
She passed by the dorm doors, stopping to listen occasionally when she heard a voice or a commotion from within, but otherwise didn’t run into anyone else. Probably because they were all busy socializing in the rec room, or off doing…whatever people did here when they had free time.
She continued to walk until the sound of something heavy thumping against the floor caught her attention. The sudden odor of sweat permeated Amber’s nose, temporarily replacing the stale scent hanging in the air. Continuing forward, she found that she’d stumbled upon the exercise wing, adjacent to the residential wing just as Val had described.
The different types of fitness were organized into rooms: one contained
The resistance base was a lot bigger than she ever could ever have imagined. Seemingly bigger than her school, in its winding hallways and endless rooms.
She had found her way back to the residential wing, not staying put she’d already visited it multiple times already. Her feet echoed along the bare cement floor, and she ran her hand idly along one of the gray cinder block walls. The monotonous hum of white fluorescent lighting emanated from above her, filling the silence of the otherwise empty hallway. It was ironic that there wasn’t really that much color here, Amber thought to herself with a smile.
She passed by the dorm doors, stopping to listen occasionally when she heard a voice or a commotion from within, but otherwise didn’t run into anyone else. Probably because they were all busy socializing in the rec room, or off doing…whatever people did here when they had free time.
She continued to walk until the sound of something heavy thumping against the floor caught her attention. The sudden odor of sweat permeated Amber’s nose, temporarily replacing the stale scent hanging in the air. Continuing forward, she found that she’d stumbled upon the exercise wing, adjacent to the residential wing just as Val had described.
The different types of fitness were organized into rooms: one contained
several dumbbells and machines for weight-lifting (the source of the sound had been someone dropping their barbell), another was filled with treadmills, and yet another contained yoga mats of every color spread across the floor. Wow, they really valued health here. Amber couldn’t help the ball of anxiety that formed in the pit of her stomach, her mind roving over the potentially difficult trials that lay ahead.
Turning around, she headed back past the residential wing and down toward where Jax had shown her the supply ward. Although nothing interesting appeared at first— the same old unlabeled doors and winding corridors— she soon noticed a startling change. Simple wooden doors transformed into steel ones, metal plaques announcing what each room contained. Research Department, 24-Hour Monitoring Team, Genetics Studies… everything sounded so advanced and intelligent. Maybe she had entered some sort of Tech Wing.
There was a serious lack of people down here. Wondering if she should even be in this part of the resistance base, she turned, only to be stopped by a sudden whirring sound emanating from further down the hall.
Curiosity killed the cat, Amber…
Well yes, but if she hadn't been curious as to where the arrows led, she wouldn’t have even ended up here. So maybe a little dose of curiosity was helpful from time to time.
Taking slow steps down the hall, she looked for the source of the noise, surveying the doors before her one by one. The noise simply droned on, unaware that a new resistance member was now on the hunt for its source.
The sound grew louder and louder, and Amber started to wonder if she was simply nearing the electrical motherboard of the base, but then it stopped. Silence once again.
She stood still in the middle of the hallway, not even daring to breathe too loudly, straining her ears to listen harder. But there was still nothing.
Turning around, she headed back past the residential wing and down toward where Jax had shown her the supply ward. Although nothing interesting appeared at first— the same old unlabeled doors and winding corridors— she soon noticed a startling change. Simple wooden doors transformed into steel ones, metal plaques announcing what each room contained. Research Department, 24-Hour Monitoring Team, Genetics Studies… everything sounded so advanced and intelligent. Maybe she had entered some sort of Tech Wing.
There was a serious lack of people down here. Wondering if she should even be in this part of the resistance base, she turned, only to be stopped by a sudden whirring sound emanating from further down the hall.
Curiosity killed the cat, Amber…
Well yes, but if she hadn't been curious as to where the arrows led, she wouldn’t have even ended up here. So maybe a little dose of curiosity was helpful from time to time.
Taking slow steps down the hall, she looked for the source of the noise, surveying the doors before her one by one. The noise simply droned on, unaware that a new resistance member was now on the hunt for its source.
The sound grew louder and louder, and Amber started to wonder if she was simply nearing the electrical motherboard of the base, but then it stopped. Silence once again.
She stood still in the middle of the hallway, not even daring to breathe too loudly, straining her ears to listen harder. But there was still nothing.
3