Muffin at the Sea

Once upon a time, there was a hedgehog named Muffin who lived in a hedge, which is where all hedgehogs should live. The hedge was at the edge of a field and the field was at the edge of the forest and the forest was at the edge of an island and the island was surrounded by the sea.
Every morning when Muffin woke up, she ate three pancakes with maple syrup for breakfast and then went out to play.*

* You may wonder how she got the pancakes and I'll tell you: they were delivered to her by post.**

** A post is a big stick that holds up a fence. There was a fence near the hedge that had a fence post and that is where Muffin got her pancakes.***

*** You may also wonder why Muffin ate pancakes if her name was Muffin, but I think that is quite enough about breakfast.

Sometimes Muffin put one toe into the forest, but she never went all of the way in* and she certainly never went all the way through the forest right to the edge of the sea. She had never seen the sea. But sometimes she dreamed of it. She imagined that she could hear it, very faintly, in the distance.

* She never went all the way into the forest because she had heard that there were fearful stoats and badgerers** in it.

** Bedgerers are very pushy creatures who ask the same question over and over again and pester you and nag*** you.

*** A nag is a very old horse.

At last one day, she decided to go see the sea for herself. But Muffin was a timid hedgehog, so she wanted some company to go with her. Muffin's best friend, Elvis the Weasel, had the measles* and was home in bed.
"Elvis the Weasel," said Muffin, "Will you come with me so see the sea?"
But Elvis the Weasel felt woozy and queasy. "I don't see why you would want to see the sea," said Elvis the Weasel, "when it is so much nicer to sit right here in bed eating soup and watching TV ... Why see a sea if you see a TV?"
So Muffin left Elvis watching Weasel of Fortune on TV and went on down the road.

* Weasel Measles -- not to be confused with Moose Mumps, Beaver Fever, Gnu Flu, or Chicken Pox.

She came to a farmhouse right at the edge of the forest. Muffin called out, "I am going to the sea -- would anyone here care to go along with me?"
"You can't do that," said a patch of rutabagas growing in the kitchen garden. "You are far too little to go by yourself and we are far too busy to take you."
"What are you busy doing?" asked Muffin.
"You are too immature to understand," said the rutabagas. Then the farmer came to take them indoors for dinner, where they would be very special guests.*

* Rutabaga Soup: Sauté one onion and one chopped clove of garlic in olive oil in a large pot. When onion is soft, add one cup sliced andouille sausage along with one teaspoon ground rosemary or sage, two bay leaves, two teaspoons salt, and one half-teaspoon white pepper. Cook while stirring for three minutes. Add five peeled and chopped rutabagas and enough chicken broth to cover the vegetables. Simmer until vegetables are tender. Add one tablespoon lemon juice. Serve.