The Anxiety Toolkit

A few suggestions on how to support your child as well as organisations that can provide additional support

To everyone who recognises that we all need to ask for help..

PLEASE NOTE: All the information within this booklet are suggested activities and links only so please consider what is, and isn't suitable for your circumstances.

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Things to say......

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Emotion Coaching
Emotion Coaching helps your child to understand the different emotions they experience; why they occur and how to handle them. It is based on the principle that nurturing and emotionally supportive relationships provide the best contexts for the promotion of self-regulation; self-monitoring of behaviour; and resilience.

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The 5 Steps to Emotion Coaching

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1.   Be aware of the young person’s emotion
Be aware of your child's own emotions and the need to support the them with theirs. Listen and observe so that they are sensitive and able to recognise the feelings they are experiencing. Start to notice subtle changes in behaviour or body language which will support you with pre-empting any distress.

2.   Recognise emotion as an opportunity for nurture and teaching
Negative experiences are seen as nurturing and teaching opportunities. Build connectivity with your child through a calming and reassuring response knowing that any inappropriate behaviour will be dealt with once they have gained more control of their rational thinking.  

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Emotion Coaching
Emotion Coaching helps your child to understand the different emotions they experience; why they occur and how to handle them. It is based on the principle that nurturing and emotionally supportive relationships provide the best contexts for the promotion of self-regulation; self-monitoring of behaviour; and resilience.

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1.   Be aware of the young person’s emotion
Be aware of your child's own emotions and the need to support the them with theirs. Listen and observe so that they are sensitive and able to recognise the feelings they are experiencing. Start to notice subtle changes in behaviour or body language which will support you with pre-empting any distress.

2.   Recognise emotion as an opportunity for nurture and teaching
Negative experiences are seen as nurturing and teaching opportunities. Build connectivity with your child through a calming and reassuring response knowing that any inappropriate behaviour will be dealt with once they have gained more control of their rational thinking.  

Things to say......

 
3.   Listen with empathy and validate the young person’s feelings
Watching and listening is a key component of Emotion Coaching. At times of heightened emotion, try to imagine the situation from your child's point of view. Reflect back what they are seeing and hearing in a soothing, accepting and non-judgemental manner. Ensure you take the feelings of your child seriously and encourages them to try to talk about what they are experiencing.

4.   Help the young person to verbally label their emotions
Instead of telling your child how they should feel, provide them with the vocabulary they need to transform scary and unbearable feelings into something definable. For example, instead of saying, “Calm down. You shouldn’t be so upset just because ….” Say, “I see you are really angry and sad because ...”
 
5. Set limits while helping the young person to problem-solve
Once your child is able to think in a rational manner, support them to develop coping strategies by: a) talking through difficult situations and setting limits (if appropriate); b) identifying positive goals; c) talking through possible solutions together; d) evaluating each solution together; and e) helping them to make a plan and choose an alternative strategy that replaces an inappropriate one. 
 

 
3.   Listen with empathy and validate the young person’s feelings
Watching and listening is a key component of Emotion Coaching. At times of heightened emotion, try to imagine the situation from your child's point of view. Reflect back what they are seeing and hearing in a soothing, accepting and non-judgemental manner. Ensure you take the feelings of your child seriously and encourages them to try to talk about what they are experiencing.

4.   Help the young person to verbally label their emotions
Instead of telling your child how they should feel, provide them with the vocabulary they need to transform scary and unbearable feelings into something definable. For example, instead of saying, “Calm down. You shouldn’t be so upset just because ….” Say, “I see you are really angry and sad because ...”
 
5. Set limits while helping the young person to problem-solve
Once your child is able to think in a rational manner, support them to develop coping strategies by: a) talking through difficult situations and setting limits (if appropriate); b) identifying positive goals; c) talking through possible solutions together; d) evaluating each solution together; and e) helping them to make a plan and choose an alternative strategy that replaces an inappropriate one. 
 

Some suggested coping strategies

Some suggested coping strategies

5 Finger Breathing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQVZgpyVQ78&t=24s

Some suggested coping strategies

Mindfulness activities to try

Practice kind thoughts by prompting your child to think of 5 people they’d like to send kind wishes to

Bang on a pot/pan and invite your child to signal to you when they no longer hear the sound ‘hanging’ the air

Blow bubbles ‘slo-mo’ style, emphasizing a big deep breath in through the nose to fill the bubble… and out through the mouth as slow as possible

Squeeze and let go, tensing different muscles in the body for 5 seconds and then slowing releasing

Tune into the body by getting down on your child’s level and feeling each other’s heartbeats

Focus on breathing by building ‘Elsa’ ice sculptures’ by taking in a deep breath (don’t forget to smell the ‘chocolate fountain on coronation day!) and then slowly blowing out to create amazing ice creations

Have a ‘mindful’ snack by describing the smell, texture and taste of the food