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Ashley LaMonicaLoading...
Rain CloudsLoading...
I just wanted some time alone to myself, even if it was out in the rain with nothing but the sweatshirt of my brother's college, shorts, and my new sneakers. Going to middle school has changed my personality, whether I wanted it to or not. I found out that I didn’t own anything worth anything, and that wearing my overalls to school everyday also wasn’t cool. Nobody actually told me any of this stuff, I could just feel it on my own. And somehow all by myself, I convinced myself I was changing just for me and nobody else. On my own. That’s something I think about a lot these days. I am surprisingly independent in life, I don’t need anybody and nobody needs me.
The first thing I did to feel better about what I owned, was convincing my parents to get me the new sneakers that were trending. Honestly, I don’t even know the name of them, it was just what everyone was wearing, so I went along with it. It was exhausting trying to persuade my mother and father into buying it since we didn’t have much money. It all pretty much went to my brother getting into college, waiting for me to get to college. Either way that was a valid point. The weeks waiting for colleges to make a decision about if my brother was getting in or not was torturous for all of us. I don’t think I had ever seen him cry that much, or at all, before that week. But I still ended up getting the shoes. I even got a sticker of Princeton on it to show myself I hadn’t lost everything about me. I can be very persuasive sometimes. But even that has been fading and slowly peeling off since the day I put it on.
Sitting out in the humid rain playing with my penny clears my head. A very rare penny in fact. My brother and I were coming home from 6 Flags, and in the parking lot the shining little thing caught my eye. My brother obviously took it, looked it up, and found out it was rare. He likes to keep it in his room, but when he left for college, he gave it to me!
It was pretty quiet except for the pitter patter of the rain. Suddenly, the silence was broken with the sound of tires against gravel. Somebody was here. I slowly adjusted my seat on the porch steps to get a better view, until I saw a man getting out of his car. Soaking wet seeing him standing at the edge of the driveway, hair clinging to the side of his head. Hands trembling, a raindrop drifting down the one side of his cheek I had seen all too often. It was my brother.
“Holdin’ down the fort for me while I was gone? You better not have taken my room or you’re dead!” he screamed in the voice I hadn’t heard in far too long.
I could literally feel my jaw drop along with his penny in my hands. I ran through every single muddy puddle to get to him. Lungs burning while I couldn’t tell if it was raindrops or tears rolling down my face until I tasted the saltiness. It was the best day of my life.
The best day of my life, gone as soon as he got in that car with dad. Dad, the person I will never forgive. That may not be helping me, but I couldn't help it. The day we all lost a part of ourselves, guilt growing every day in the selfish stomach of the father, who wouldn’t look for the oncoming truck with the drunky, who was higher than the rainy storm clouds.
The first thing I did to feel better about what I owned, was convincing my parents to get me the new sneakers that were trending. Honestly, I don’t even know the name of them, it was just what everyone was wearing, so I went along with it. It was exhausting trying to persuade my mother and father into buying it since we didn’t have much money. It all pretty much went to my brother getting into college, waiting for me to get to college. Either way that was a valid point. The weeks waiting for colleges to make a decision about if my brother was getting in or not was torturous for all of us. I don’t think I had ever seen him cry that much, or at all, before that week. But I still ended up getting the shoes. I even got a sticker of Princeton on it to show myself I hadn’t lost everything about me. I can be very persuasive sometimes. But even that has been fading and slowly peeling off since the day I put it on.
Sitting out in the humid rain playing with my penny clears my head. A very rare penny in fact. My brother and I were coming home from 6 Flags, and in the parking lot the shining little thing caught my eye. My brother obviously took it, looked it up, and found out it was rare. He likes to keep it in his room, but when he left for college, he gave it to me!
It was pretty quiet except for the pitter patter of the rain. Suddenly, the silence was broken with the sound of tires against gravel. Somebody was here. I slowly adjusted my seat on the porch steps to get a better view, until I saw a man getting out of his car. Soaking wet seeing him standing at the edge of the driveway, hair clinging to the side of his head. Hands trembling, a raindrop drifting down the one side of his cheek I had seen all too often. It was my brother.
“Holdin’ down the fort for me while I was gone? You better not have taken my room or you’re dead!” he screamed in the voice I hadn’t heard in far too long.
I could literally feel my jaw drop along with his penny in my hands. I ran through every single muddy puddle to get to him. Lungs burning while I couldn’t tell if it was raindrops or tears rolling down my face until I tasted the saltiness. It was the best day of my life.
The best day of my life, gone as soon as he got in that car with dad. Dad, the person I will never forgive. That may not be helping me, but I couldn't help it. The day we all lost a part of ourselves, guilt growing every day in the selfish stomach of the father, who wouldn’t look for the oncoming truck with the drunky, who was higher than the rainy storm clouds.