Thank You For (online)

Thank You For...

How I discovered the Tao of Oates and Epting

By Tracey Yee
May 2017

In Chinese philosophy Tao (pronounced "dao") literally means "the path" or "the way." It is a universal principle that underlies everything from the creation of galaxies to the interaction of human beings.

The

Seasons, a Memoir by John Oates with Chris Epting, actually begins at the end of the book, the Afterword. The first time

story about my experience with Change of

I read the Afterword (penned by Chris Epting and entitled Whole Oates) it struck a chord with me. Who was this co-author who helped capture and crystallize some element in the John Oates story that has resonated with me so much?

And then I wondered: Why did he entitle the Afterword, Whole Oates? Was it because that was the beginning, the first album for Daryl Hall and John Oates, and highlights a stripped down version of their music that is the essence of their unique and successful partnership? I still don’t know the answer to that question. Maybe someday I will get a chance to ask Chris. But recently after re-reading the Afterword, I accidentally discovered an answer of my own…one that I’ll carry with me long after this chapter of my story ends.

There is so much about my experience with Change of Seasons that has been unexpected, and to be honest, a bit confounding. It has been a series of moments so unlikely that I began to wonder if they added up to something more, something I should be paying attention to - something more profound.

It started with something so simple. Like so many thousands of Hall and Oates fans, I pre-ordered Change of Seasons and signed up for some “bonus” items (poster and guitar picks) in June 2016. It’s one of a hundred things we do online everyday - click, click and it’s forgotten. Then, more than six months later, the first unexpected moment happened. For reasons still a mystery, St. Martin’s Press sent me an unsolicited advanced galley copy of Change of Seasons. And as luck would have it, the book arrived on December 21st, 2016, the winter solstice - an actual change of seasons!

On that same day, Chris Epting was hanging out on the “No Goodbyes” H&O fan Facebook page and he happened to post a note updating the book’s release date. Not able to contain my mailbox delight, I posted a reply:

That one spontaneous post sparked a series of events I never expected. Through the magic of Facebook, what we once called “six degrees of separation” has now become “one click of separation”. Chris Epting reached out to me, anxious to know if I was reading the book:

My use of social media is pretty limited (I have no Facebook friends), so this digital conversation with the co-writer of John Oates’ memoir was surprising to me. For a few weeks, Chris checked in to see what I thought of the book, answered my questions and encouraged me to write a review on Goodreads. Writing a review seemed like the least I could do for the bit of an insider’s view I was getting with this book.

Not only had I received it three months in advance, but I was in conversation with one of the authors! So I committed some time and thought into a book review and posted it to Goodreads in early 2017.

The reaction from Chris was priceless - so special that I only want to share part of it:

That could have easily been a satisfying end to this string of kindness I was experiencing from a notable stranger. But the magic of this experience rolled on…

For some years, there has been something about the Hall and Oates songbook and John’s story, in particular, that has deeply resonated with me. Some of the themes, what I call the “Tao of Hall & Oates” have lined up with my mid-life quest to ensure that this life is well-lived, with purpose and meaning. The songs have a life-affirming message: “Do What You Want, Be What You Are”, “Do it for Love”, “Change of Season”, “Time Won’t Pass Me By”, “Go Deep”. John’s memoir reveals the life experiences that many of those songs and themes were built on; a story of hard work, success and failures, reinventing his life, his career, discovering his solo life and voice, and the rare and enviable ability he has had to focus on what is truly important, even amongst all the superficial noise that has constantly surrounded him.

I found myself wanting to find a way to show my appreciation for Change of Seasons, its impact on me, and the kindness of Chris Epting. So with Chris’ permission I launched the Change of Seasons Book Club on Facebook. I figured - “Keep on Pushin Love” - for this book that had already brought me so many surprising gifts. Show some appreciation…gratitude.

And then: more magic. Inexplicably, that simple “facebook novice” act of launching the book club led to actually getting to meet both John and Chris at an April 2017 book event held in San Francisco shortly after the book’s release. It was a night I will never forget and one that has left an indelible impression on me. Beyond the pure fun it was to spend a couple of hours backstage with a legendary musician and his co-author, I left that night wondering: How exactly did all this happen?

The kindness of these super accomplished and talented men seemed implausible. Chris Epting had plenty of other fans to reach out to, and he was

never obliged to invite one to meet him and John, let alone for a pre-show "hang"- a relaxed and informal chance to talk with them, ask questions, and take it all in.

Chris made it happen and John Oates - not only was he kind, he hosted us personally. John stood behind the bar, opened a bottle of champagne and poured a glass for me. When I kidded him with “I guess when you come to play, they give you the bar,” he quipped back something like, “Hey I do it all myself.” John poured tequila for the gal pal I had in tow, and endearingly called us "girls". Maybe that is a politically incorrect term in some situations, but backstage with a legendary rock star, it just made us believe we could still be girls...at least for this one night!

The night was filled with moments like this. While fantastic, they puzzled me. So much so, that I felt like a pre-show interloper. Several times, I tried gracefully to say thanks and take my leave from what seemed like a space too personal to include me. Chris, at one point had to say to me, “Tracey, you’re IN.”