Loading...

Funny Jokes

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.

“My advice to you is to get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.

Never criticize your spouse’s faults; if it weren’t for them, your mate might have found someone better than you.”

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.